Blog #15 (Revision Plan)

For this next essay, I really want to focus on putting my opinion and what I truly think is beautiful into this essay. After writing my first draft, I have realized that it is difficult for me to really talk about myself and making personal connections. Both Alysa and Liv pointed it out so I know that this is something I need to work on. I plan to take it paragraph by paragraph, working on a little piece each time to be sure to focus my attention on each one, to really develop my paragraphs. Like my other essays, I will use the trash bin technique and be sure to only use evidence that will thoroughly support my claims. Also, after looking at Elisha’s comments on my last essay, I need to be sure to get MLA citation down. I will do this by looking at The Little Seagull and They Say I Say to introduce my quotes fluidly and be sure that my quote sandwiches are thought out. My biggest challenge will be connecting what I believe is beautiful versus repeatedly saying what Armstrong finds is beautiful. I really need to focus on the ‘me’ aspect of this essay to really prove to the reader why I believe art helps us find what is beautiful. Overall, I am determined to make this essay the best one yet!